Introduction
This was inspired by W.H. Auden's Roman Wall Blues and dates from the 1970s, when I worked in a modern office block with an artificial environment.
The desks and chairs were made principally of plastic and the open-plan offices were divided by partitions made of the same material as the desks. The windows did not open and we had full air conditioning. The plastic plant pots and tubs contained waxy-leafed plants which were real, but did not look it. Hot drinks were served in plastic cups by machines and were of doubtful quality. The urinals in the gents' toilets were plastic mouldings.
After a while the whole atmosphere of the place became dispiriting.
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Artificial Environment Blues
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Words for a twelve-bar blues.
I've got a plastic desk and a plastic chair.
(All made of plastic.)
We've got plastic walls and plastic air.
We've got plastic pots and plastic tubs,
(Full of plastic soil.)
All of them growing plastic shrubs.
We've got plastic cups filled with plastic tea,
(Come and drink your plastic.)
And a plastic loo for a plastic pee.
I've got a plastic ruler and a plastic pen.
(Even plastic ink.)
Some of my colleagues are plastic men.
When I retire, I'll go far away,
(Long way away.)
And look at a real wooden tree all day.
Alternative version
This could be performed in a rock-and-roll style, without the interpolations, but with a refrain added after each couplet:
- Uh-uh-uh, it's the Artificial Environment Blue-oo-oo-ues.
We got a artificial environment we wanna lo-oo-ose.
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