Miss Otis Regrets

There is a story about the composing of this song. It exists in various forms, but here is the one I like best.

Apparently, songwriter Cole Porter was lunching in a fashionable restaurant with the critic Alexander Woollcott, who is reckoned to be the model for Sheridan Whiteside, the title character of the play The Man Who Came to Dinner. Woollcott challenged Porter to compose a song based on the next thing they heard the English waiter say. For the sake of propriety, Porter replaced the name mentioned with one he saw on a manufacturer's plate in a lift, or elevator, as he would have called it. The song became a great success. Although the message given is spoken very politely, the story gets worse and worse as it goes along, and this results in a gently amusing piece.

Miss Otis Regrets

Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today,
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in Lover's Lane she strayed,
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.

When she woke up and found that her dream of love was gone,
Madam.
She ran to the man who had led her so far astray.
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her lover down,
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.

When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail,
Madam.
They strung her from the old willow cross the way.
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried,
Madam,
"Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today."

Miss Otis regrets... she's unable to lunch today.